I don't have stress. I'm a carrier.

They say that weddings are for the bride. In reality, I think that they only say that because in the long run, the bride ends up caving like a fifty-year old couch to the pressures and whinging of the bridal industry, her parents, and her bridesmaids.

Dress shopping -- despite the decision to make the dress rather than spend gadzillions on it -- is super stressful. Dressmaker wants three months to finish and alter it. I have to go buy more fabric. I am overconscious of my weight, and have been staring at the exact line and fall of too many dresses in order to figure out how all of this goes. I harassed all my bridesmaids to alter their dresses already, given that seamstresses apparently have such an annoyingly long deadline, and I asked one of my bridesmaids (who took offense) to wear a corset, so now I'm sure my friends are annoyed at me, despite the fact that as bridezillas go, I don't think that all of this was on the unreasonable end of things.

(Random thought: do brides ask their closer friends to be bridesmaids because they hope that they will be more forgiving of the atrocities they inflict?)

Meanwhile, mother wants flowers on the tables at the reception. I refused, saying that I wanted funky props and for people to have FUN at the reception, rather than stiff flowers. She's still insisting on a notion of propriety. Bah. I WILL make this fun dammit.

How does a celebration of love and a gathering of friends for fun turn into such a debacle? And how is this for "the bride"?

Further, when did weddings turn into such a political thing? I recently emailed a friend who I hadn't spoken to for a long time, asking him how he was and to come to the shindig, but he is not returning my email (is it because we're not invited to their wedding? does he just not want to talk to me anymore? am I being paranoid? argh!)

Kim is tired. Neil is sick, and Kim is worried that she's getting that way.

The good news is, Kim joined a local HS pool, that she can swim at in the evenings. Hopefully that will help her feel more energized, longrun.

On the general unfairness of men's vs. women's fashion

Look, I'm not saying that men always get it easier. But in terms of dealing with fashion choices, women definitely bear the brunt of the unfairness.

Observe the wedding fashion stuff, for example.

The bride: either chooses a $4,000+ dress new (in my case, I wanted an $8,600 one) and has to have it fitted, or buys it used and has to have it cleaned and refurbished and fitted, or has it made and has to have it fitted. If she happens to not to have $8,600 lying around, then she's in for either several more weeks of shopping for the right dress used, or, if she chooses to have it made, then she has to spend hours looking for the right fabric and accents or trim. In all cases, she has to endure at least five fittings to get the dress altered correctly.

(Note to answer Shelley's question: Kim is getting her dress made, and is partially complaining about all this because she lugged 5 yards of fabric to the seamstress, and 6 yards more of fabric for the trim.)

Now, the groom, on the other hand... gets to call Men's Wearhouse, which has all his measurements on file, and tell them what color vest he wants his rented tuxedo to be.

Sadly enough, this scenario is replicated in the office, when choosing appropriate clothing to wear. You have to wonder how women are efficient enough at all this to still have more or less broken the glass ceiling, given the amount of extra time and aggravation and pain is involved in clothing.