Ups and downs with M lately make me think a lot about the nature of partnership, and why it works. What's the reasoning behind the sense of steadiness in M? I think it's mostly a balancing act of detachment. And I mean, detachment from yourself as well as from the other person. Depression is hard, because your world narrows to your immediate misery, but it's a double whammy, because when overly hot emotions come out, you have to be able to calmly recognize them and point them out - or else you've just screwed your communication and pulled both of you into a nasty cycle. And then there's this concept of taking turns at being there for each other, when you pull yourself together for the other person because that's what you have to do for both your sake, and the trickiness of not being pulled in to your partner's emotions.
Anyway. All good lessons, all ones I needed reinforced.
Meanwhile, I put up some photos from my weekend in Westchester
with mom, where I saw gourds and other calming things. And from a cloudy day in the Queens chinatown