New Orleans
Sep. 1st, 2005 09:17 pmI only understood how bad it really was today. Up til yesterday, the news didn't have exact reports; the channels of communication had all been sliced, and I didn't want to face it.
It seems inconceivable, at some level, that an entire city could be demolished. And there are some of my angry-incredulous reactions back there in my head, accentuated as I read more news - why weren't we better prepared? Why did we build a city below sea level? Why didn't the fools who had advance warning leave? But I realize, talking to myself: Kim, those aren't helpful reactions; it doesn't particularly matter that it's upsetting, because other city planners and emergency response people are the ones who have to deal with it. At a personal level, it's just my job to deal with the idea that some of my memories of a place are gone.
Okay. I didn't love it when I visited there; I thought the people were too snobbish, too racist, too loud. I thought it was the typical South; it still remembered slavery. And then I think about people going into cardiac arrest, starving in a crammed stadium, poor people who lost everything, and, most of all, I think about the stunning beauty of the place... I guess I tried to forget that part. I forgot the old, old oak trees, the smiles of the salespeople who were kind, the old cemetaries, and I didn't understand that they were probably all gone.
The cold thoughts worked til I really looked at it.
So I lit this candle, and said a prayer, and felt a little lost.
no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 02:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-02 04:15 am (UTC)