a common sense reminder
Jun. 24th, 2005 11:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kimberkitbefore you start talking, remember that people's feelings are reality, to them. If you only give logic, in response to an overwrought person, without acknowledging their feelings first, chances are slim that you'll make much headway.
when I first started teaching, and a kid would do something stupid, like throw a paper ball first, I would yell at them and call their parents' homes, firmly reiterating that certain behaviors were unaccepatable. This year, it occurred to me that if I listened to *why* the kid was upset and then gave them an alternative to their frustration -- write an angry note, mediated between the two of them, etc -- my classroom ran better. (no worries, I'd call their houses if it happened again. There do have to be consequences.) Nothing major -- but the atmosphere was a little smoother, a little happier. People work better when they're happier, if you only just listen to them.
that seems like such an obvious statement, but I don't think most people really get that. I had the lovely experience the other day of rambling at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yoda4554, and having him be relatively quiet, so that I worked out most of my upset for myself. I sound like a parenting book, or something, but again, people are perfectly capable of working out their own problems, if only you give them some space to do it.
when I first started teaching, and a kid would do something stupid, like throw a paper ball first, I would yell at them and call their parents' homes, firmly reiterating that certain behaviors were unaccepatable. This year, it occurred to me that if I listened to *why* the kid was upset and then gave them an alternative to their frustration -- write an angry note, mediated between the two of them, etc -- my classroom ran better. (no worries, I'd call their houses if it happened again. There do have to be consequences.) Nothing major -- but the atmosphere was a little smoother, a little happier. People work better when they're happier, if you only just listen to them.
that seems like such an obvious statement, but I don't think most people really get that. I had the lovely experience the other day of rambling at
yoda4554, and having him be relatively quiet, so that I worked out most of my upset for myself. I sound like a parenting book, or something, but again, people are perfectly capable of working out their own problems, if only you give them some space to do it.
