Friending policies

[kimberkit]

I've been doing a lot of sorting through lists of people who're friends of friends, and adding them to my friends list. The criteria for friending are: I think you're genuinely caring, and I am not terrified that you'll laugh at me or stab me in the back if you wander over to my journal. To my friends list total, I've added: 3 people. And I don't think that's paranoid, quite honestly.

I want to be loved, not just liked. Liking will get me a nice smile. Love will get me people who call me and genuinely show an interest in me. Love will buy me just a little bit more certainty that I can trust you with painful things.

If I didn't add people to my list, it was because I was sure that the people in question might take a mild interest in me, but not genuinely care. (Lots of old alums who looked nice, but again, why should they care about me?) Even amongst my friends' list, I filter pretty tightly, so that it's really only a handful of people who see me at my worst; the reasoning is that if you don't comment and don't ask to be there, you probably don't have enough interest to follow through when the going gets ugly. That way, I never have to fear being rejected.

Twisty reasoning, I guess. But I'd much rather play it safer than not.

Comments

[addienfaemne.livejournal.com]

You haven't been met, but you are loved.

We have not met, but we have weathered the same storms. We've both survived. This gives us strength.

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

I love you, too, Jessica! :) But you're on the close-friends filter, and you get to hear all my bitching and porn writing along with everything else *grin*

[ultiville.livejournal.com]

There's porn I'm missing out on?

[feygele.livejournal.com]

I am not terrified that you'll laugh at me or stab me in the back if you wander over to my journal.

Oh, crap. How did you know that I laugh?

Just kidding, bien sur :-)

[mansikka.livejournal.com]

Totally understandable, especially given what happened a few weeks ago with a mutual friend of ours. I had once a really chock-full friends list, and decided to cut it down by about half. It has definitely given me peace of mind.

[sir-graeme.livejournal.com]

Ya know, Kim, sometimes you'll post an entry that resonates deeply with my own experience...

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

*hug* we need to hang out more, y'know.

[shellaby.livejournal.com]

Hey Kim, thanks for your phone message -- will get in touch w/you soon, have been really busy.

[ojouchan.livejournal.com]

I have this theory that everyone needs at least one hug a day. It's like vitamins. So if you haven't already had one, here's another.

*HUGOFDOOM*