I demand more amusing fortune cookies

[kimberkit]

In my world, fortune cookies should say something like: Be prepared. You may be trampled by hamsters and lobsters. or, O Hai! You can has papercut in cookie. or The internet is for porn. etc. None of this boring, "be prepared for a sudden change in plans" mumbo jumbo.

So, a challenge: post what YOU would like to see in your fortune cookies here.

Comments

[tablesaw]

I want to see more fortunes premade into mobius strips.

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

You can has infinity and beyond.

[metagnat.livejournal.com]

I like it when they're inscrutable, weird or funnily self-aware.

Like, I have one taped to my monitor that says: "Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed." I *kind of* know what they mean.

-E

[greyduck.livejournal.com]

"Don't look now, but that weird person at the table in the back is watching you."

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

My favorite classic: "Help, I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory!"

Also: "The antidote is in another cookie."

"Ambiguity is the devil's volleyball."

"You have the desire to finish anything you"

[sir-graeme.livejournal.com]

In college, I once got "You form passionate relationships without compromising your independence." Yep, from a regular (non-joke) cookie.

[drlynch.livejournal.com]

i apparently love the smell of fear.