Grittier with age

[kimberkit]

I'm halfway to my twenty-eight birthday, as of a few days ago. And, having seen a few younger-than-me folk lately, I just feel like I have to note that there is a critical difference between young twenty-somethings and older ones. Mostly, it's this: holding down a full time job, having moved out of your parents' umbrella.

If you haven't had a full time job, and household responsibilities to juggle -- without the ability to just go running home to mama -- you've missed out on a measure of discipline and strength. It takes grit and strength to make every deadline, to pay all the bills, and, if you fall down, to keep going through it. Sometimes you find you run out of energy; I have very little creative energy these days. But you do it because you have to.

I always used to wonder how new parents did it -- waking up at night for their new child, worrying about finances all the time, making time to schedule for play activities, figuring out meals, and still managing to stay sane. And, having ground through the routine of a job for a while, I think I've figured that parenthood, or adulthood in general, is mostly about this: you fulfill your responsibilties, alone if you have to, because there isn't another alternative.

It makes me sad to note that I feel that experiential difference with people I would've loved to have stayed up all night chatting with. It doesn't make time with them less fun, but I feel the difference, and I know I put my energy different places than they do.

Whenever I wonder what happened to the energy I used to have, the answer is pretty obvious. The energy goes to working regularly, even when I start to feel sick, like today. To giving constantly to clients, whether it was students when I was teaching or to clients now. And only after that to my own social life or the scattered fun I used to have.

Comments

[sir-graeme.livejournal.com]

Yeah...Perhaps the biggest difference between early adult life and later adult life is the amount of purpose you are aware of on a day-to-day basis.

Back in college, it is easy to organize your life in a such a way that every day, you get at least a few little reminders of your personal goals, your place in the world (or at least the tiny world of college), your ideals, and so on. As an adult, it isn't that goals, place, and ideals are not there -- but they get muddled in with the regular details of ordinary life, the chores of keeping everything moving at a decent pace.

Heck, my jobs are fairly dull and often feel pointless, but compared to what it could be, I know that my work situation is rather nice...

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

It's true about running all the minutia of your own life being very different from having someone take care of things for you. But I hope you won't always put your social life and fun last; sometimes it's important to remember that one of the main reasons we deal with all the minutia in the first place: To have the volition to enjoy our fun and social life. So don't forget to take care of yourself. *hug*

[pinkrhino.livejournal.com]

Wait. Are you really saying that you value your time less with people who happen to be at different stages of their life than you are?

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

WTF? Not at all; I explicity *said* that I don't have less fun, but that I know that the main focus of my energy goes towards work. I do feel grateful that my coworkers understand at least what I go through, and understand that entire "spending your life on your job" thing, but that's not so much valuing my time with them more as just acknowledging that they understand different things about me.

[entropicangel.livejournal.com]

*big hugs*

I hears ya ...

[swagmonkey.livejournal.com]

"I'm halfway to my twenty-eight birthday, as of a few days ago."

Wait, you're only 14? :-p

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

Naturally, I look classy for my age.