Wishing for spring chickenhood

[kimberkit]

In the world according to Neil, I learned, the just-past-college-or-younger age group is distinctive and relatively easy to spot. This statement provoked some surprise on my part, since I'm absolutely terrible at judging ages and experiential gaps between twenty-somethings, and I didn't think to ponder about the ages of the group of people who went out to the diner with us after the contradance. (They were all under 23).

Okay, sure, there is sometimes an energy gap between our older friends and younger ones, but then again people like ppaladdin kick that entire "energy" differential to the curb, so I don't trust it as a good guideline.

Neil claims, though, that in college, when we're more social and less experienced with the grind of a job day-in-and-day-out, we have a more generic sort of flirtiness. The social flirting is more expansive, and people are more clearly not-yet-settled-down.

Waitaminute, I said. What about that whole gaggle of our college friends that were already practically married by their junior year in college?

Still less experience with having to pay the bills and having to worry about practicalities, Neil said. Even if they have part time jobs, they are still leaning on parents financially, and it shows. Some of the prioritization of social life versus what you can do to pay the bills shows. Unless you're in academia, and then you live on a whole different planet anyway.

Hmm. I guess that's probably true, but not something I spot so easily in a social situation. And I sort of wish I could regain the mentality Neil's talking about again.

Comments

[g-me.livejournal.com]

I hear Neil on this one. Perhaps I've just been noticing it more because now that we're almost 5 years out of school and no longer the youngest of our groups of friends around here, I notice 2 distinct groups forming: the one in which I am essentially the youngest person hanging out with people who are pretty much in their early to mid 30s, and the one in which I am the oldest in a group of people just out of school/around the age of 23. When I am hanging out with the group that is largely younger, I notice that I have lost some of what I used to really like about my social interactions and groups of friends...namely that we allowed ourselves to be silly, to flirt (even if we were "attached"), to be physical with each other, and to express a generally positive view of the world. Compared to my younger friends, I now have noticeably less of those tendencies. I assume this is because as Neil points out, I have somewhat acclimated to a kind of daily grind, as wonderful as I think my life and friends are. With worries about money, and family, and our future, and whatnot. I get tired earlier. I need more sleep.

When I think about people I admire, they are all people who seem to manage to keep some of their youthful optimism, energy, and kindness, no matter how old they are. In my better moments, this is what I strive for.

Sometimes I really miss my younger self, and the sad part is, I'm hardly old.

[sir-graeme.livejournal.com]

I hear you on the two different groups. When I spend time with my dental school classmates, perhaps two-thirds of whom are younger than I am, it feels a lot like college again. When I spend time with my opera friends, almost all of whom are older than I am, it feels like a cross-section of the "real world" (whatever that is).

Paradoxically, but very expectedly, the dental students are more conservative and settled than the opera people.

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

I really don't think it's about age. It's definitely about interactions. And it's one of the reasons I miss college, but I don't think suddenly being 21 again would bring that situation back.

It also really does change with the groups you hang with. Many of my older local alum friends ('99-'91) still have that general silliness, the generic flirting, some degree of physicality, &c, when there's a big gather. (This is one of the many reasons I love them so dearly.)

Or heck, the local artists at the monthly potlucks I go to, the average age there is probably 50 if you don't include me, and they're still fairly silly and have a quite positive outlook on the world. And as Kim points out, people like ppaladin will probably always be high-energy.

I think what it comes down to is a worldview, and a method of interacting with the world. In youth, or in college, most people prioritize living and enjoying themselves. In further post-college life, people get ground down and burnt out. As you say, there are many worries, and just getting through all your responsibilities in one day can leave you very tired.

But it doesn't have to be that way, it just tends to be. I think if you decide that you really want to reclaim your joie de vivre, you can make it happen. (Granted, one obviously has to prioritize things like classes or work, but it shouldn't prevent you from focusing on being the person you want to be.)

[ppaladin.livejournal.com]

*kick*