Diary of a workout newbie

Step one:
Go to gym. Do not stretch. Do not bring water.

Step two:
Realize you haven't stretched and haven't brought water. Oops. Realize that you can do the stairmaster for 10 minutes to bring your heart-rate up, though, and then go back upstairs for water. Be nervous and intimidated by the elliptical jogger machines (and yes, Matt, you were right again about the fact that the gym had to have elliptical joggers, okay?) and the people on them.

Step three:
Slink back to apartment. Fill water bottle. Pull out workout book Matt sent so that one can actually stretch properly. Frantically page through said book to see if there's a manual for elliptical joggers and complex machinery. Nope.

Step four:
Stretch. Realize that it feels good.

Step five:
Slink back down to gym. Pray.

Updated...
Step six:
Climb on elliptical jogger. Holy shit, this machine is fucking awesome. It moves everything! Working out could be fun!

Step seven:
Climb off, drained, half an hour later. (Sorry, Matt, I was starting to get dizzy, and the machine says to stop if that happens.) Working out is fun and exhausting

Step eight:
Stretch (Wow, that feels amazing) and then stagger back up. I consider climbing the stairs to cool down, but realize I can't find them.

Step nine:
Collapse. Wonder whether I should've had breakfast first before doing the machine. Man.