The process of schooling and becoming boring

[kimberkit]

So I've been thinking. When did the pressure of loneliness, and the need for new loves and different experiences stop pushing on me? I've become boring, because I'm busy and tired and have the perfect primary partner beside me.

In the process of becoming fulfilled, I've lost touch with lots of old friends. And while conversations with Neil are stimulating and fun, I have a flood of new knowledge and skillsets (actually new ones, not just building on old ones, which is what college was) that I have to master and other things to worry about and money to stress over and somehow... somehow keeping in touch with friends went by the wayside. How did that happen? Am I really this shallow? It's interesting how we think about priorities :/

Comments

[entropicangel.livejournal.com]

you're not boring, far from it ... *hugs*

[osirusbrisbane.livejournal.com]

First, to echo Neil, boring is not a word I'd ever apply to you.

That being said, what you say about a lack of pushing is true. Once you settle in, to anything, you naturally have less excited flux going around. The good news is that this should mean less stress for you. The downside is that, yes, you tend to focus more on maintaining the happy niche you've carved out for yourself than running around and staying in touch with people.

To be clear, I do strongly advocate focusing on building and maintaining your happy niche. Making your own life as good as possible *has* to be your priority, and when it isn't, that's when I think something's wrong.

As for keeping in touch with old friends, it's simply a question of how much that's a part of your happy niche. (For me, seeing friends is a priority, but I'm bad at keeping in touch with more distant friends because I despise phones. Though I love visits.)

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

*hug* Thank you. And you are definitely part of my happy niche, though it's sort of stressed-out at the moment.

[pewter-surfer.livejournal.com]

No, you're not shallow! We just haven't corresponded much....I still think you're great.

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

thanks, ingrid.

[pinkrhino.livejournal.com]

The best piece of advice I've ever seen was this: "Get out of your comfort zone and stay there."

from "Robert, they can’t eat you!" My rules for success in business and life in general.

[kimberkit.livejournal.com]

Well, I guess I'm taking that advice - I'm not really in my comfort zone, which is where friends would be, because I'm stuck absorbing whole craploads of new things... but this sort of adventure is a lot more tiring than the other sorts I used to look for.

[nescio17.livejournal.com]

I think shallowness and depth are often confused in cases like this. A drive for new loves and new experiences may be sort of like the excitement of picking out the materials you will build the work of art that is your life. If you've gathered your materials (or at least the ones you need immediately) you can start the more subtle work of turning them into something. And at a certain point, you get the big pieces in place, at least for the time being, and you get to work on the details. And these details can be what brings depth--and even if it looks like nothing is happening, the most important things are happening.

[pallasathene82.livejournal.com]

I know that you're busy right now. I miss you, but I know you'd be ther for me, and that when you need us (me), you'll feel free to call.

[drlynch.livejournal.com]

look, people are going to be busy. it´s natural. there will be times when you are fulfilled by one primary person, particularly when you are very busy and worried about money.

the only thing i will say is that sometimes your friends worry when they think you are going away for a weekend and you disappear for two weeks.